How to Keep Your Confidence Up In This Job Market-00-5045

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by: Michell-Randall
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Word Count: 604
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 2010 Time: 10:48 PM
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To survive as a job seeker in this job market the critical skill to learn is how to turn rejection into recovery. I speak constantly with well educated and experienced job seekers who are feeling defeated, are losing their confidence and are sometimes downright angry.

In a New York Times poll of unemployed adults released this week, almost half reported to have suffered from depression or anxiety. This is very natural, and it begins a dangerous downward cycle. In this market where 80% of positions are filled before they ever hit a job board, relationships are critical. Being attractive to friends, family, colleagues and everyone in your network is more important than ever.

Of course, being attractive is something that can't be faked, it's something that comes from within and the way to cultivate attractiveness is by learning the skill of recovery. Furthermore, more than your mere appearance, attractiveness come through loud and clear in your voice. If you are feeling down or not confident, it will come through loud and clear on the other end of the telephone.

The place to start with recovery is reclaiming your identity. You are not your job or employment status and you never have been. Defining personal self worth and identity by a profession is a mistake many people make and now is the time to stop. We are defined by who we are as people and how we show up in the world, not by any title, car we drive or house we live in.

Secondly, do not take rejection personally. I know that being turned down for a job feels incredibly personal. Keep in mind that employers are looking to hire a fit for both the stated and unstated characteristics they desire in a specific job. Unless you want to take it up with the hiring manager, recovery is a matter of making peace with the decision about this opportunity and moving on to the next. Furthermore, you have an opportunity to learn from each opportunity. Don't be afraid to ask the hiring manager after he/she has turned you down for the position if you could have done something different or better.

Third, stay in the present. If you didn't get the interview today, that's all that means. Avoid the tendency to blow that out of proportion and start believing you'll never get another interview. It's called catastrophising and it's no good. Recovery is found by staying in the present.

Fourth, experiment to find your recovery style. Your style can be talking with people who empathize or finding that rare person who you'll listen to when they tell you to get a grip. Maybe your recovery style is in listening to music, reading a special book, or digging in harder to find the next opportunity. Maybe recovery for you is walking in nature, volunteering in your child's classroom or talking about nothing important with a dear friend.

You'll probably find that you have many recovery styles and strategies that work for you in different situations. Recovery will only happen if you devote time to it. Devote time in your schedule to caring for your self and investing in your recovery.
The benefit for you in learning how to recover is that you will feel better and be able to interact more positively with the world. The added benefit is that you will also be more attractive to the people and opportunities that will connect you with your next job.

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